Communication in a Relationship

I don’t know if it’s a male thing, or maybe an immature male who calls himself a man, but isn’t yet a man and still a boy. I don’t really want to make things gender biased, but hey welcome to the real world where women and men are separated by their gender and capabilities. I have nothing against “men” or the “male species”, but this is just from experience. Why do males not communicate? Especially in relationships. I understand that many of them do not open up, but if you’re in a relationship that is built through layers of foundation and communicating was part of the key factor in starting this relationship, why can’t you communicate when the relationship needs saving or when you’re ending it? 

I have seen many males walk away from a relationship without saying ANYTHING. And I don’t know if it’s an ego thing or you’re trying to distance yourself from the situation or you feel like if I avoided this situation and just walk away without saying ANYTHING, the situation will just go away. Well hate to tell you boys, but things don’t work like that. EVERY relationship requires communication, whether it’s a relationship built on love or friendships, or work related, let me repeat… EVERY RELATIONSHIP REQUIRES COMMUNICATION. 

You don’t “walk away” from a situation and think things are over. If you’re in a long-term relationship, no scratch that, if you are in a relationship with someone, that person that you shared your months and years with deserves an explanation. They’re not someone you just picked up from the street, they are someone that you SHARED many memories with and exchanged “I love you’s” and promises that you gave; promises that should’ve been accomplished, but is broken by your immatureness. 

Do I sound mad? Of course. Why? Because I know the feeling. The feeling of getting left without any sign of word and I know that “silence” is the answer as well, but again, a relationship wasn’t built on silence, and therefore an explanation is required. And boys, just because you walk away from a situation and think that it’s over, it’s not. And if you think walking away means breaking up, then your ass shouldn’t even be in a committed relationship in the first place.

If you DON’T want this relationship anymore, you have every right to speak the truth and tell the girl. Yes, it may hurt her, but at least she has closure and she knows the answer. When you walk away without saying anything to the girl that you spent months and years with, that is not only disrespectful, but she isn’t at peace with herself, with you and the relationship.

So, are you a boy or a man? Because if you call yourself a man, then you freaking grow some damn balls and speak up! 

2 Comments

  1. Woah girl. I can definitely feel the angry energy in your blog post. And you know what? I can relate to what you are saying and I’ve been there a million times too. I have been angry for so many times for having the silence as a response or not getting any answers. I would just feel shut out. But recently, I read a book called, “Why Won’t You Apologize?” by Dr. Harriet Lerner, and she explained a little bit about a similar scenario.

    I’m not really a good reviewer but from what I can understand, I think that both pursuing someone and distancing them are just different ways of handling stress. Normally when things are fine, people don’t really have problems like this. They can both be happy and they don’t have to cope with stress. He wants to listen to her, and she doesn’t have to force him to open up to her either. Communication is quite easy.

    Usually this kind of communication problems happen when two people are stressed out, right? If she wants to bring up the problems, talk about them and have some closure, that’s her way of managing her stress and if he wants to just shut himself out from her and distance himself away from her, that’s probably his way of managing his stress too. The writer probably tries to explain that each person has a different way of coping with stress and it doesn’t mean one person wants to make a relationship work more so than other, you know? But of course, it’s a damn hard thing to be logical when emotions are involved. And if she’s really feeling that he is an immature coward who doesn’t keep his promises, I think she’s better off without him.

    I am also a very angry person and have been dealing with so many negative emotions. So sometimes the knowledge I get from such kind of books put me into a different perspective and as a result, I feel better. Good luck, girl. I really hope you feel less angry by now.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Reading your response makes me understand it a whole lot more. I wrote it because I myself was going through it and is going through it, but I let myself go. I try to be kind to him, if he pushes me away, I say alright cool, you do you and come back when you feel like talking. Traditionally, it shouldn’t be like that, but you’re right everyone handles stress differently. Personally, I’ve found a balance with him and myself.

      I also wrote this on behalf of this girl who is going through the same thing, she should read your comment, I’m going to link it to her 🙂

      And I am so going to read that book!

      Liked by 1 person

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